When a printer says it prints 32 pages per minute I laugh.

My HP Deskjet 2630 currently seems to take around 1 page per hour.

Here’s how I work it out:

1. switch printer on
2. plug it in
3. print a document
4. try and fix:
   1. printer is offline messages
   2. switch printer back on when it’s switched itself off
   3. check 128 page manual to see if a flashing power button means it’s now switched on or not
   4. feed paper in
   5. remove ‘cos printer is now showing a yellow flashing light and not printing
   6. figure out how to switch printer off and on (pressing the Power button doesn’t do anything. Nor does keeping your finger on it. Finally I pull out the power cord and replace)
   7. fix the paper alignment message which is showing in the Printer dialog box (turns out I just need to switch the printer off and on again)
   8. try and work out why printer dialog box is stuck at Printing page 1, 11% complete
   9. switch printer off and on again
   10. fix the “Printer is in Error” message

I’m now at around 1.5 pages printed.

0.5 ‘cos 1 page errored out half way through.

More errors

1. Now it won’t print ‘cos it can’t connect to HP Instant Ink
2. So now I have to figure out how to get it to connect
3. Printer Information Page and icons in display show that Printer IS connected to the network but that it can’t connect to HP Instant Ink